WRJ Voices: Vayeishev

In 2012, the year before WRJ celebrated our 100^th anniversary, my mitzvah participation while a member of the WRJ Executive Committee was to write 12 D’vrei Torah all of which had the theme, “Women’s Voices Deepen Our Jewish Legacy.” One that I wrote for our centennial year was entitled “Tamar: Conscious Choices and Choosing One’s Own Destiny” and is based on Parashah Vayeishev (Genesis 38: 1 – 30). And, of course, I used “The Torah: A Women’s Commentary” as my companion. Parts of this blog came from that D’var Torah, improved by some grammatical edits and some rethinking of the subject. 

Do you make conscious choices? One of our Torah heroines surely did. Tamar made a conscious choice following the deaths of her husband and Judah’s son Er, the death of Judah’s next son Onan, and the death of Judah’s wife Hirah. Tamar had become a childless widow, and it seemed like Judah, her father-in-law, had no plan to allow his youngest son Shelah to marry Tamar. As biblical law mandated, Judah claimed that Shelah was too young and he could not risk losing another son, but Jewish law also mandated the levirate marriage that Judah had not arranged for Tamar.

Our heroine Tamar needed a child to claim a true stake in the household of Judah, so she tricked her father-in-law Judah into sleeping with her during his bereavement. How? Tamar posed as a harlot at nighttime. Judah solicited her services; and Tamar requested that Judah give her his signet ring, his cord, and his staff, all of which clearly identified him when she would later proclaim Judah’s paternity for her twin sons Perez and Zerah. Not for love or for lust but rather for a legacy into the future, Tamar made a conscious choice. And, ironically, Judah admitted, “She is more in the right than I!” (Genesis 38:26), for he knew that he had refused the rights of levirate marriage to Tamar.

I attended Torah Study during the WRJ Southwest District Convention in New Orleans. It was led by Rabbi David Gerber, Congregation Gates of Prayer, Metairie, Louisiana. Rabbi Gerber shared that the life of Sarah was far-reaching. Empowerment for women started with Sarah who empowered Rebekah who empowered Tamar who empowered Miriam who empowered the daughters of Zelophehad who empowered Deborah who empowered Yael who empowered Esther and so it goes; and, please God, let’s keep the empowerment going! Rabbi Gerber shared that women had been good students of their past, so they easily drew upon the strength of those who came before them. What they each did was different, but bold choices and brave actions were the common thread.

It all returns to making choices. Each woman on a WRJ roster has made a conscious choice to join a sisterhood or a woman’s group. And many have chosen the pathway of leadership, sharing mitzvah time with local, district, and/or WRJ leadership. Each woman who participates in her sisterhood or woman’s group is making a conscious decision about how she commits her volunteer time. There are many worthy causes to endorse as one enters the world of adult responsibility. A woman considers her commitment to her faith and how she wants her faith to impact her future and the futures of those who come after her. Initially, she might not be aware of how her local membership and participation affect all children of the community and that her actions bear influence and make a difference. But somewhere along the way she may come to realize that the choices she has made affect her own family, her local Jewish community, the future of Reform Judaism, and the future of Judaism as a whole.

Conscious choices make a difference. My husband Michael and I made a conscious choice in 1970 within the first month of our marriage to become members of Temple Beth-El, San Antonio, Texas. We made that same choice each time we moved from San Antonio to Beaumont, Texas, to Ft. Smith, Arkansas, and back to Beaumont again. We chose not only to be members but to be involved in temple life and on the temple boards and on the boards of sisterhood and on the boards of brotherhood. And we did the same within the community. We knew that our involvement would set examples for our children and would plant the same seeds for them as were planted for us by our parents. I know that that conscious choice has made a difference in our lives and in the lives of our adult children, and it is our fervent prayer that our adult children continue to make conscious choices that daily impact the lives and the future of our grandchildren.

Each of the 12 D’vrei Torah that I wrote for the WRJ Centennial contained a quote from either a president or executive director, past or present. Here’s what WRJ Past President Judith Silverman (1997 – 2001) said about Tamar:

“The story of Tamar and Judah in Parashah Vayeishev is often overlooked because this parashah contains the more well-known story of Joseph. Yet Tamar is a very intriguing woman to learn from and her story is one that we can relate to in the 21^st Century. As Jews, we are all charged both to develop our individuality and to play a larger role in the world. Tamar, in her own way, pursued her unique personal identity and made a positive impact way beyond her time. Tamar teaches us not to become immobilized by loss or other sorrows, but to come to terms with them and then move on to find an ongoing purpose. As women of sisterhood, we have an ongoing purpose. We have the tools in our resolutions to make this world a better place for every woman no matter where they live or what their faith is. May we all be like Tamar, women who embrace destiny both for ourselves and for other human beings. May we provide a community that honors all families and may women wherever they live, be stronger together in ‘Sisterhood’ advocating for the rights of all women.”

Tamar, a childless widow, realized that her destiny was in her own hands. She managed, via charade, to have Judah father her children and to guarantee that they own property within the house of Judah. When faced with the worst time of my life even before I ever knew these words, I lived them: “Pray as if everything depended on God. Act as if everything depended on you!” Tamar did that!

Cynthia Roosth Wolf resides in Beaumont, Texas, where she serves on the Boards of Temple Emanuel Sisterhood, Temple Emanuel, Catholic Charities of Southeast Texas, and the Symphony of Southeast Texas. She also serves as a key fundraiser for Nutrition & Services for Seniors and Alzheimer’s Association. Within the world of WRJ, she served on the Executive Board of WRJ Southwest from its formation to 2014. She served on the WRJ Board and on the Executive Committee for a total of eight years from 2005 through 2013. She was honored as WRJ Southwest’s 2016 Woman of Valor. Cynthia is past president of two local sisterhoods: Temple Emanuel Sisterhood, Beaumont, Texas, and United Hebrew Sisterhood, Ft. Smith, Arkansas. She has been married to Michael since 1970. They have three amazing adult children, an equally amazing son-in-law, and four incredibly special grandchildren.