WRJ Voices: Chayei Sarah

Although this parashah means “Life of Sarah,” we learn instead about her death at age 127 and Abraham’s purchase of a burial place for his beloved wife. Subsequently, Abraham charges his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac to preserve the continuity of family into the next generation, and ultimately we are introduced to Rebekah who, because of her beauty, kindness, and generosity becomes the woman who Isaac loves and marries. Abraham takes another wife Keturah but when he dies at age 175, he is buried next to Sarah with both Isaac and Ishmael in attendance.

 Sarah and Abraham’s lives were blessed with longevity and are perhaps remembered for the impacts they made in their advanced years. At the age of 75,  Abraham left his country (with Sarah who was 65) and his father's house for an unknown land with God’s promise “to make of him a great nation, bless him, make his name great, bless those who blessed him, and curse ‘him’ that curses him.” Although Sarah was barren and post-menopausal, she conceived, gave birth, and nursed Isaac in her nineties. Even at her advanced age, she was able to raise a patriarch, develop his relationship with God, and instill in him the virtues of faithfulness, modesty and humility.

As I approach my mid-sixties, I have started thinking about aging and dare I say, my own legacy. I have come to terms that even with a healthy lifestyle and the advanced medical care I have access to, I cannot completely control my longevity. However, I can control what I can choose to do with whatever time I have left in this world. For me, aging has freed me in the sense that I have more available time to pursue my passions.  It is a chance to share my vast arsenal of experiences to enrich others’ lives and allows me the opportunity to make meaningful contributions to my community. Someone once told me that when you age you can sit on a hill of experience where you can see before and beyond. I find those words comforting.

There are countless examples of seniors doing remarkable things. An obvious example is Judge Ruth Bader-Ginsburg. In addition to her incredible legal mind and continued work on the Supreme Court, this 5’’’1”, 85-year-old Jewish grandmother dubbed “notorious” has become a pop-culture icon. Less known perhaps is cancer survivor Barbara Hillary who at age 75 became one of the oldest people, and the first black woman, to reach the North Pole. Look around and you will see many “senior citizens” fully engaged and contributing to society.

I am fortunate to engage with remarkable “older” women all the time. I see it as one of the great advantages of belonging to the Women of Reform Judaism and my own congregational sisterhood. Being part of these intergenerational Jewish organizations, I have the opportunity to learn from women of all ages, not just my peers. I am continually awed by the experiences and accomplishments of the women around me. They provide perspective and history to every conversation. I have learned that it isn’t important to only know where we are and where we want to go, but how we got to this point. My friends who are older serve as my role models and add texture to the tapestry of my life. I hope I do and will continue to provide the same inspiration to all my friends younger than me.

Let us embrace our golden years and remember as Betty Friedan reminds us, “Aging is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

Andrea Stillman is a past President of Women of Temple Rodef Shalom in Falls Church, VA and currently serves as their Advocacy Chairperson and leadership team member of Treasures, their Judaica Shop. She also serves on the WRJ Board as a Nominating Committee and Budget Committee member. Additionally, she is the incoming VP of Development and Special Projects for the Mid-Atlantic District Board.