Voices of WRJ: Vayeishev

This week’s torah portion, Vayeishev, is filled with life lessons. We not only read the story of Joseph, but also the story of Tamar, Judah’s daughter-in-law. Tamar’s tragedy is evident. She has lost her husband, and she has no offspring to give her life purpose and to secure her status as a widow.  Judah and Tamar are in-laws who have reached a crisis point in their relationship. At first, Judah supports Tamar’s right to marry into her husband’s extended family. However, when Onan also dies, Judah blames Tamar. Judah’s abiding sense of loss and resentment block his reconciliation with Tamar. Thus, Tamar finds it difficult to move on. Today, any new family member such as a spouse, in-law or child changes the family dynamic and can create stress. Adjusting to new family members can be difficult and requires patience and sensitivity. This is particularly common when there is a premature death in the family. Tamar does not leave her fate in the hands of male relatives. Her actions following the loss of her spouse were not reckless, however, there was extreme risk. She responds to her loss by taking action to secure her own position and produce meaning for her life. In doing so, she joins the circle of matriarchs who exemplify action to protect Israelite destiny. Spousal loss should not force anyone into desperate acts. Tamar teaches us not to become immobilized by loss. Mourn – but then move on to find ongoing purpose. Fifty years ago, Jackie Kennedy became a widow. She, her children, and indeed the nation mourned the loss of JFK. But… after a time… she moved on and built a new life devoted to her children and mankind. Women today can learn from Tamar and Jackie that they are not alone and have the freedom and opportunity to make decisions that can have a positive influence on their lives such as volunteering and becoming involved in their community. Producing an heir is not the only way to create a legacy. Entering widowhood today may not be as dangerous as it was for Tamar, but it can be frightening. Tamar’s courage in the face of adversity may help reduce the fear of women today when facing life as a single after years of partnership. Just as Tamar could fall back on her family of origin, we have our WRJ family. As sisterhood women, we have a special bond that surrounds us with love and compassion during difficult times.  We support each other with a circle of caring, caring about each other, our families and our friends – a sacred circle of women joined in faith and a covenant with each other. As we, Women of Reform Judaism, reflect on our past and look ahead with a vision for our future, I encourage you to make plans to attend the 49^th Assembly and Centennial Celebration in San Diego, December 11-15, 2013. This is an opportunity to stretch our minds and discover insightful ways that we can join together in the sacred work of sisterhood by sharing ideas, praying, and learning from our inspiring speakers. Let’s all join together to celebrate 100 years strong and give the gift of Reform Judaism to generations to come.