Voices of WRJ: Parashat Chukat

by Myra Feiger Parashat Chukat discusses the grim reality of death in the wilderness, the necessary succession in leadership, and the approach of the journey’s end. Repeatedly in this parashah, healing and new life follow death. The circle of our lives includes death, which follows life, not the other way around. What about life and death today? My mother will be 96 years old on July 13. She still lives in the home I grew up in and has had 24/7 care for the last 5.5 years. As she approaches her long journey’s end, I'm in a state of wonder and awe. Even though her passing is inevitable, the entire process is a humbling one to watch. I feel like I’m in the presence of God as I watch her complete her journey. It would be interesting to know what is transpiring but because her dementia is so advanced that conversation is no longer possible. My mother has had a very rich life. She was the youngest of six siblings and the only one left alive today. She has two children, two grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.  She has lived long enough to see a succession of generations carry on her legacy. The Jewish calendar teaches us to know and respect the cyclical aspects of our lives.  Each holiday courses through the year in a very set way, and at set times in each season.  It doesn’t really matter whether Hanukkah is in November or in December… it still rolls though the months and our lives in a set and predictable way. Perhaps births, our lives, and our deaths need to be viewed exactly the same way. The certainty of the seasons is just as predictable as life will be followed by death. We need to pay attention and embrace the cyclical pattern of the natural world and of our lives. Lives include death and are the natural course of all existence. A natural death after a long life needs to be embraced and not mourned. Ultimately, we all will be part of this circle of life. Myra Feiger is a WRJ Board Member and member of Women of Temple Sinai in Oakland, CA.