Voices of WRJ: Ki Teitzei

Parshat Ki Teitzei, on first reading, seems to be much about rules - a varied list of directives providing guidance and structure when faced with a myriad of different situations: who to marry, who not to marry, how to treat captives and beasts of burden, rules of commerce...on and on. But as I read through the list, one struck me as particularly relevant and prescient today: 

“When you build a new house, you shall make a guardrail for your roof so no one shall fall.” As we take care of ourselves, it is incumbent upon us to simultaneously provide for others. While this commandment is written as an order without an obvious reward, in fact, in this time of COVID it strikes me that caring for ourselves and strengthening our community are intertwined. Our community needs us, and equally if not more important, we need the connection to others.

Douglas Abrams observes in The Book of Joy the importance of communal connection, after listening to the Dali Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu consider that so much of our stress is dependent on seeing ourselves as separate from others, “Once again, the path of joy was connection and the path of sorrow was separation. When we see others as separate, they become a threat. When we see others as part of us, as connected, as interdependent, then there is no challenge we cannot face - together.” 

When the first stay-in-place orders were issued, the shock of this new reality for me was in large part about the abrupt, dramatic, isolation and separation from those I loved, and also from those who simply made my days more vibrant. I felt a craving I believe so many of us felt for ways to interact, whether intentionally or spontaneously, with others. WRJ “got” this immediately, almost instantaneously converting our intended in-person conventions and meetings to virtual gatherings. Rather than cancelling events and letting us each go our separate ways, WRJ instead provided opportunities for engagement and ways to connect. And engage and connect we did! Our 2020 Fried Women’s Conference had a record number of attendees, our Zoom meetups, in their many forms, became gathering places for women from all over the world. Our members continue to connect in all kinds of different ways - As I observe the online offerings posted on our WRJ Online Programming Yammer group, it thrills me to see so many of us reaching out to each other, wherever we are. The bonds formed through a Zoom chat, virtual game of mahjong or theater reading, or online auction supporting a seemingly far-off sisterhood are certainly made differently than were made pre-COVID, but the relationships are no less real or meaningful. Through these efforts, we emotionally strengthen our own houses, and at the same time construct support systems to keep those around us safe.

Anat Hoffman recently thanked WRJ for our financial show of support to the Israel Religious Action Center from the WRJ YES Fund in part by saying: “"Corona time provides us with both examples of how fragile we are, side by side with evidence of how durable and tough we can be. COVID-19 shattered our routine, it destroyed all of our 2020 carefully laid plans and seems to do the same to 2021. In light of all this, it is even more remarkable that you in WRJ extended to us your hand and decided once again to support our work in Israel. Your announcement is a boost of energizing encouragement to our work. It raises morale and it fills our hearts with Tikvah. Nothing can match the resilience and determination of the Jewish people when they resolve to work together. Thank you for a reassuring and heartening hand from across the ocean.” 

How easy it would be these days to be overwhelmed, to retreat and focus our time and efforts inward. By embracing the commandment to interact with, support and attempt to connect with the “other,” we in fact strengthen the emotional scaffolding we each need to move forward.

Deborah Radin is a WRJ Executive Committee Member-at-Large and a member and Past President of Beth Am Women in Los Altos Hills, California.