Voices of WRJ: Balak

By fredi Bleeker Franks As a WRJ officer, I have the pleasure and the privilege of traveling around North America through the WRJ speaker’s bureau, visiting sisterhoods and sharing what I have learned about team building, mission statements, budgets, and other aspects of congregational and sisterhood life with women who are bright, funny, and passionately committed to their organizations. Often, these talented women are wed to a specific path - the “this is the way we DO it here” path, while loudly exclaiming that the sisterhood is dying without volunteers. And, often, as I am explaining why change is necessary, using the quote often attributed to Albert Einstein, “the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result”, I catch the eye of one or two women who nod slightly. Those women have tried to influence the group to change their mindset, to no avail. They are the women who have been largely absent from sisterhood events, no longer volunteering as they once did. In our Torah portion this week, we read of Balak, the king of Moab, who feared the Israelites who had just defeated the Amorites. Thinking of the surprising victories of the outnumbered troops of the Jewish people, Balak came to the conclusion that these victories could only be attributed to some form of magic. He believed that the only way to destroy the victorious Jews was to outdo them in magic by a spell stronger than theirs. Balak’s men engaged Balaam, a non-Jewish prophet and magician, to curse the Israelites. Three times along Balaam’s journey the donkey stopped and refused to go on, finally lying down in the middle of the road. Balaam beat the donkey each time for her refusal to move forward. Lying in the middle of the road the donkey spoke to Balaam, asking why he had beaten her those three times. As an astonished Balaam was telling the donkey that if he had a sword, he would have killed her, he finally saw the angel who had been blocking his path. The angel explained that, indeed, the donkey had saved Balaam’s life. I wonder, what will it take for us to see the angel in our path? How many times will others give us advice, trying to turn us from the path we have set for ourselves and for our sisterhoods? And, how do we, as sisterhood leaders, respond to such advice? Often, as a visitor to a sisterhood, I get pulled aside by women who whisper to me “thank you for saying what you did - I have tried and tried to bring forward new/different out of the box ideas, and keep getting negative responses.” Or “thank you for pointing out that we need to have a treasurer’s report at every board meeting. I’ve suggested that and been told that it wasn’t any of my concern, even though I am a board member.” As sisterhood members, it is our responsibility to support our sisterhood leaders; to offer constructive suggestions and ideas, and to be willing to help make those ideas come to fruition. As sisterhood leaders, our responsibility is to listen - to really hear the ideas and concerns of our members, and to listen to our own hearts. Often, the best path - the true path - is right in front of us if we are only open to seeing and hearing it. Sisterhood can be hard work; too often we take what is the easiest path, doing the same things that we have always done. We moan about the loss of volunteers, while never acknowledging that perhaps it is our treatment of them that has made them disappear. Balaam did eventually bless the Israelite people, using the words that God put in his mouth, words that we sing every Shabbat: Mah tovu, ohalecha Ya’akov; mishkenotecha Yisrael! How goodly are your tents, Jacob; your dwelling places, Israel! Balaam’s prayer captures the feeling of awe we feel as we step into the sanctuary on Shabbat morning. It reminds us that we should feel good about entering the sanctuary, and, indeed, our synagogues - our tents. Our tents should provide a place where we feel safe, where we find shelter and connection to each other and to God. Stepping outside the path of “this is the way we DO it here”, and listening to the voices of others giving you advice on new ways to go forward can only strengthen your sisterhood and your congregation. Need some help? WRJ has many resources to help our local sisterhoods. There are many WRJ leaders who would be delighted to visit your sisterhood and offer some one on one guidance through the WRJ Speaker’s Bureau. Learn about this, and many other resources, on the WRJ website https://www.wrj.org/. May the words we speak, and the words we hear, be a blessing. fredi Bleeker Franks is a member and past president of the sisterhood of Congregation Emanu El in Houston, Texas, and a past District President. She has served in many capacities on the WRJ Board, including serving as Treasurer and Vice President for Affiliate Services. Currently she is the Vice President for Development and Special Projects. Perhaps her proudest accomplishments are her two adorable grandchildren, who look forward to receiving their PJ Library books – a project of WRJ, URJ, and PJ Library.